FUCKING BULLY

“When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sand paper; they may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless.”

Bullying is when a person or a group repeatedly and intentionally uses or abuse their power to intimidate, hurt, oppress or damage someone else. It can be covert or cyber-based (happening online through social networks or even through mobile phones). Bullying can be physical or emotional. Yes, it's common, especially in schools but just because most parents endured it at some time in their lives doesn't mean it's normal. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.

Five different kinds of bullying behavior:

1. Physical bullying: when physical actions such as hitting, kicking, pinching, poking, tripping or pushing, spitting, Taking or breaking someone’s things or making mean or rude hand gestures are used to hurt and intimidate. Repeatedly and intentionally damaging someone's belongings is also physical bullying, says the centre.

2. Verbal bullying: involves the use of negative words, like name calling, insults, homophobic or racist slurs, teasing, inappropriate sexual comments, taunting, threatening to cause harm or words used to intentionally upset someone.

3. Social bullying: when lies, the spreading of rumors or nasty pranks are used or leaving someone out on purpose, telling other children not to be friends with someone or embarrassing someone in public. This includes repeated mimicking and deliberate exclusion.

4. Psychological bullying: involves the repeated and intentional use of words or actions which can cause psychological harm. Examples include intimidation, manipulation and stalking.

5. Cyber bullying: this is the big one at the moment and is when technology is used to verbally, socially or psychologically bully. It can occur in chat rooms, on social networking sites, through emails or on mobile phones.

The consequences of bullying:

Being bullied has been linked to:

·         Mental health problems. Children who are bullied are at increased risk of depression, anxiety, sleep problems, low self-esteem, and thoughts of self-harm and suicide.

·         Impaired academic performance. Children who are bullied might be afraid to go to school and are more likely to get poor grades. Targets of bullying are also more likely to receive school detention or suspension, miss, skip or drop out of school.

·         Substance abuse. Children who are bullied are more likely to use alcohol and other drugs.

·         Violence. Children who are bullied might be more likely to carry weapons at school. A small number of children who are bullied might retaliate with violent measures.

                                                           

Warning signs of bullying:

If your child is being bullied, he or she might remain quiet out of fear, shame or embarrassment. Be on the lookout for these warning signs:

·         Lost or destroyed clothing, electronics or other personal belongings

·         Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations

·         Poor school performance or reluctance to go to school

·         Headaches, stomachaches or other physical complaints

·         Trouble sleeping

·         Changes in eating habits

·         Distress after spending time online or on his or her phone

·         Feelings of helplessness or low self-esteem

·         Self-destructive behavior, such as running away from home

What to do if your child is being bullied:

If you suspect that your child is being bullied, take the situation seriously:

·         Encourage your child to share his or her concerns. Remain calm, listen in a loving manner and support your child's feelings. Express understanding and concern. Remind your child that he or she isn't to blame for being bullied.

·         Learn about the situation. Ask your child to describe how and when the bullying occurs and who is involved. Find out what your child has done to try to stop the bullying, as well as what has or hasn't worked. Ask what can be done to help him or her feel safe.

·         Teach your child how to respond. Don't promote retaliation or fighting back against a bully. Instead, your child might try telling the bully to leave him or her alone, walking away to avoid the bully, ignoring the bully, or asking a teacher, coach or other adult for help. Suggest sticking with friends wherever the bullying seems to happen. Likewise, tell your child not to respond to cyber bullying. If possible, use software to block the cyber bully.

·         Talk to your child about technology. Make sure you know how your child is using the Internet, social media platforms, or his or her phone to interact with others. If your child is being cyber bullied, don't automatically take away electronic privileges. Children might be reluctant to report bullying for fear of having their cell phone or Internet privileges taken away. Your actions could prevent your child from telling you about a future incident.

·         Boost your child's self-confidence. Encourage your child to build friendships and get involved in activities that emphasize his or her strengths and talents.

  

Responding to bullying:

If your child admits being bullied, take action. For example:

·        Record the details. Write down the details — the date, who was involved and what specifically happened. Save screenshots, emails and texts. Record the facts as objectively as possible.

·         Contact appropriate authorities. Seek help from your child's principal, teacher or the school guidance counselor. Report cyber bullying to Web and cell phone service providers or websites. If your child has been physically attacked or otherwise threatened with harm, talk to school officials and call the police.

·         Explain your concerns in a matter-of-fact way. Instead of laying blame, ask for help to solve the bullying problem. Keep notes on these meetings. Keep in contact with school officials. If the bullying continues, be persistent.

·         Ask for a copy of the school's policy on bullying. Find out how bullying is addressed in the school's curriculum, as well as how staff members are obligated to respond to known or suspected bullying.

If your child has been injured or traumatized by continued bullying consult a mental health provider. You might also consider talking to an attorney. Taking legal action to disrupt a culture of bullying can make your community safer for all children.

Insight:

Why do we hear so much about bullying in schools today? Is bullying worse now than ever before? Or is it just more visible to the outside world—more pervasive in the new digital era?

Some would argue that whether or not the dynamics of bullying are worse or better now, they are at least very different. One thing that is different is that we do know more—anecdotally, clinically, and empirically—about those social relationships within the youth culture that are usually clumped together under the umbrella of bullying. For example, research shows that most adolescents have negative attitudes toward peer victimization and express interest in helping victims. It also shows that when young adolescents witness situations of bullying in their schools and take action to protect the victim by expressing disapproval to the perpetrators, the prevalence of bullying is likely to decrease. And yet it will come as no surprise that social scientists, like people in general, find that most adolescent witnesses remain uninvolved when someone else actually suffers the impact of bullying, be it by the fists of a lone assailant or by the cutting words of the members of a popular clique.

Bullying is when one person behaves in a way that controls another person by force or coercion. In other words, if another person is behaving toward you in ways that make you do and say things you do not want to do or say - you are being bullied.  The same is true if you are trying to make someone else do or say something that they do not want to do – you are behaving as a bully.

If you do not think or feel that what you are being forced to do or say is right, then you should understand that you DO NOT have to do or say it!   

Short-term repetition of bullying behavior has short-term consequences, most of which can be forgotten over time.  However, if the bullying goes on all the time there may be long-term consequences for both the bullied and the bully.  

  

There are certain characteristics in common with most bullies. It is important to recognize the basic characteristics of those who choose to hurt others so that we may help them build other acceptable characteristics such as taking responsibility for their actions. 

They are concerned ONLY about themselves and do not care about other people’s feelings. They want control and power over others, and will do anything to get it. They lack sympathy. They are willing to use and abuse others to get what they want. They may feel pain inside; perhaps because of their own inadequacies and insecurities. They find it difficult to understand another person’s perspective. They lack compassion.

http://nobullying.com/bullying-quotes/

http://www.kidspot.com.au/schoolzone/Social-&-emotional-Bullying-Definitions-of-bullying+4064+395+article.htm

http://www.kidspot.com.au/schoolzone/Bullying-All-about-bullying+4271+395+article.htm

http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/definition/

http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/definition/#types

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/childrens-health/in-depth/bullying/art-20044918?pg=1

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/childrens-health/in-depth/bullying/art-20044918?pg=2